My dad named me Puke when I was born because I was so ugly that he wanted to vomit all over me. That’s the story, anyway, and it gets my dad roaring. Every time he tells the tale he laughs so hard that the metal barbs in his neck twitch like reeker bugs. Makes me want to throw up. But a lot of things do. My sis, Avarice, says I was born on the wrong planet. She’s got that right.